Keeping The Love You Want - The Secrets To A Happy Lasting Marriage

“Why is marriage so hard?” It's a lament I often hear from my new clients when they first came to me. I, too, once grappled with this until I uncovered the secrets to nurturing a happy and deeply satisfying marriage.  Let’s take a closer look at these essential elements:

1. Accountability: Strengthening Trust and Respect

At the heart of a strong marriage lies accountability. It isn’t just about acknowledging who is right and who is wrong; it is an act of humility, acknowledging that we all are mere mortals, we do make mistakes and we are willing to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and words. This means being willing to apologize sincerely when we've hurt our spouse, owning up to our mistakes, and actively working on improving ourselves (Yes! The work starts with ME!). This builds trust and strengthens the bond between spouses, creating a foundation of honesty and respect.

2. Vulnerability: Building Emotional Intimacy

Vulnerability is not a weakness. Rather, it is a strength – the courage to be open. Being vulnerable with our spouse opens the door to fostering emotional intimacy. It involves creating a safe space where both partners can express their true feelings, fears, and aspirations without fear of judgment. Vulnerability allows couples to connect on a deeper level, fostering empathy and understanding. It is also about turning towards each other, communicating needs for attention and connection, and nurturing intimacy.

3. Fun and Humour: Nurturing Joy and Resilience

Laughter truly is the best medicine (or sweetener :P) in marriage. Sharing moments of joy and humour helps us navigate life’s ups and downs with a lighter heart. Couples who maintain a sense of humour find it easier to weather challenges together, turning stressful situations into opportunities to support each other. Incorporating fun and laughter into our home life cultivates a sense of playfulness and resilience, igniting the sparks for passion and vitality in our relationship.

4. Understanding and Forgiveness: Key to Compassion

Understanding and forgiveness involve accepting each other’s flaws and mistakes and embracing our partner's strengths and weaknesses. It means being patient during difficult times, offering support without judgment, and actively working through disagreements with empathy and compassion. Forgiveness isn't just about letting go of past grievances; it's about choosing to move forward together, learning from mistakes, and growing stronger as a couple.

 

5. Sense of Communion: Creating Shared Meaning

A successful marriage involves creating shared meaning and rituals. This includes developing traditions, goals, and values that both partners cherish and support. Building a sense of communion strengthens the marital bond by providing a sense of purpose and unity in the relationship. It allows couples to grow together and face life’s challenges as a team.

 

6. Effective Conflict Management: Resolving and Coexisting

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship; but effective conflict management is key to a lasting marriage. It isn't just about resolving disagreements but also about learning to coexist respectfully in the presence of unresolvable conflicts. This involves effective communication, active listening, and finding compromises that honour both partners’ perspectives. By navigating conflicts constructively, couples can strengthen their connection and build trust.

7. Shared Fondness and Admiration: Cultivating Appreciation

Couples who express fondness and admiration for each other nurture a positive marital environment. It’s about noticing and appreciating each other’s strengths, efforts, and contributions to the relationship. This reinforces the foundation of love and commitment in the marriage. It reminds us once again how and why we fell in love in the first place, coming together and building our lives together. It cultivates the attitude of gratitude, fostering a sense of appreciation and mutual respect, giving meaning to our union.

Easier Said Than Done!?

You may say “This is easier said than done! I get the theory, but how to really do it!”. Well, implementing these secrets requires dedication and effort. What I find amazing about the 6 Intimacy Skills from Laura Doyle is that they equip us with the skills to apply these secrets to our marriage with ease!

If you find yourselves struggling in your marriage or facing persistent challenges, seeking professional help can provide valuable guidance. A trained coach can offer tools and strategies tailored to your specific needs, helping you enhance communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen your emotional connection.

If you’re ready to explore how to enhance your marriage with these secrets, look no further. Join me on a complementary Discovery call and together, we can create a personalized plan to strengthen your relationship and build a fulfilling future. Your journey towards a blissful marriage starts here - let’s take the first step together.

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